Oh, ok, so now we’re ready to listen. Good! Sit down.
Alrighty then. Same groove, same bass drum. Now. Try to make that bass drum blend. Yes: blend. Put it at the correct spot and the correct volume. Got it! Now play just that. Doesn’t it feel good? Look at the musicians grooving with you. A few more are joining your little ensemble. Look at the audience smiling! Isn’t that swell?
But, oh, no. The audience stopped smiling and the musicians ain’t grooving no more. What happened? Oh, you don’t know. You were not paying attention. You had become a human metronome. You had subtracted your being from the whole experience. And why? What’s that you said? You were bored? Bored? Are you kidding? You’re on the verge of a break through and you are bored. No wonder everybody left.
You would have liked to play some snare drum, you say. And some hi hat too. And a few fills and pepper some crashes while you were at it. Sure! And more toms I suppose. Is that it? And some more crashes too. And tap toe method, and Moeller technique, and speed, and… Yeah, yeah, I got you. You don’t need me to dig your way to hell, you’ll do that on your own. No, no. This blog is done. This conversation isn’t possible. Besides, you managed to make the other musicians and the audience leave the room. And your help (meaning me) is also about to go away. Goodbye, have fun paradiddling!