I’ve been through some difficult times. So much so that it has stopped me from practicing. Oh, I am not crying on my sorry fate, I am not a survivor who went through a trauma so deep that my dreams will be nightmares for the rest of my days. I’ve got some light traumas, and some moderate ones, too. Enough to keep me away from the keys of the drums. Those traumas are vanishing in the past.
Now, in better mental and physical shape (those two seem to go together), I am reinstating a routine on my instruments. I sit behind my piano or my drums almost every day. The “almost” is the subject of this blog.
I do not want to force it. I want to be dedicated but not obsessed. Besides, I would probably kill whatever drive I’ve got going if I were to push it to hard. Life is very long, after all, and I can build slowly back to bigger numbers over a long period of time. Where do I want to go with this? Honestly, I do not know. What is my goal? Same: no precise idea. I know I want to enjoy and understand music. I’m aware it’s a big agenda. But I’ve got so much time. As I am getting older, I am discovering how long life is. Plenty of hours to practice. Also, my life is in such order that I do not need to push. Let’s see, for example, my kids are grown up and out of the house. That’s a big one. It was great to spend my days taking care of them, but I now cherish the time I’ve got back since they’ve left. My home is great, I have very little tension in my relationship and my job. In other words, my mind is free of worries, making room for a healthy practice. I am coming back, slowly, yes, but in an unstoppable way. That’s all that matters.
