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All right, ok, I’ll calm down. When do you push? Good question. Another question: what do you push? Let’s cut to the chase and say you are practicing and you have a problem, a big one, with a certain passage. Do you have to study for three hours or can you skip a few steps? I would admit that I’ve never put three hours on any given passage. I might stubbornly repeat the same few notes over and over for awhile, but not three hours, not even two, not even one. Why? Because I trust the process.
The process is the discipline, the hygiene if you will, that I’ve got for my craft.
Let’s suppose I’ve got a piece to play on the piano. Let’s assume it’s something mind bogglingly difficult like a Chopin bit. How do I process it? First off, I need to move big furniture in my mind and tell myself that I need to get patient, very patient. It is imperative to have a voice inside me saying that it’s ok if it takes 6 months for the first 6 bars. Once I get my potential level of frustration in check, I can begin playing.
But wait! Before I touch the keys, I have to look at the chart. That might take an entire practice session because I am trying to get as much information as possible from the page. That part often feels like I’m doing nothing. The hope is that the day after, I could try to play the very beginning of the piece, actually put my hand on the instrument. So it happens, I play. Slowly. Excruciatingly slow. So slowly that continent move faster than me. I don’t care, I’m almost in my sixties, I’m young, I’ve got all the time in the world. As the days unfold I will keep practicing that Chopin music every day. That’s what I meant by trusting the process. I don’t need to do three hours in one go, I will gradually print the notes in my DNA as the weeks go by. I might start when the sun is hot and the days long, and finish it once we are in the cold and grey skies. It doesn’t matter. I’ll make time my ally.
There is another way to push in music. That’s the one that concerns the job itself. As in: do you ever stop pushing to get a gig that can feed you? Is there a moment you give up? The answer is no. If you work at it, if you think about it, if you try and try to make a living at it, you only stop when you are paying all your bills with music money. Not before. And even after you are successful, you don’t quit. You have worked so hard to make it, just keep going, sometimes the difference between hard and easy is just getting used to the struggle. In any case, you never ever stop.
I have been in this boat for about 40 years and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, including the difficult situations. I keep pushing for my job because I keep having fun, I keep pushing to thrive and be creative, pushing to think, pushing to get closer to the other side, whatever it is, wherever it is. I push, I just push.
Music, for me, is an old friend. It has sometimes some brand new clothes (I remember when I got my first computer!) but it’s always the same familiar presence, the same power. I keep teaching and I spread the word because I love it. I don’t feel like I’m pushing for a distant goal, I’m just having fun and enjoying the journey. Music is a fantastic companion.
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